Cook's Crush is a non-storyline mission. It becomes available at the start of Chapter 3.
Jimmy walks into the cafeteria to see the lunchlady, Edna, applying makeup. She explains to Jimmy that she's got a date with Dr. Watts, and that she finds the scientist type to make her "gooey" inside, much to Jimmy's disgust. Dr. Watts, however, doesn't even know that they're going on a date. Edna asks Jimmy to fetch her Ms. Philips' perfume, a box of candy, and some sedatives. The latter she instructs him to find in the trash.
The candy can be bought at the store, however, if Jimmy already has some in his inventory, it counts towards the mission.
Ms. Philips' perfume is in the teacher's lounge. Dr. Watts and Dr. Slawter are conversing outside the door. Jimmy has to pull the fire alarm to clear the school out so he can get in.
With all the items in hand, Jimmy returns to Edna.
Edna has applied lipstick, eye shadow, and face powder, and she looks vaguely like a clown. She asks Jimmy for another favor. She threatens to spit in Jimmy's food if he doesn't. Jimmy asks if she'll spit in Mr. Hattrick's food if he does, to which she says she'll do much more than that. The kids at Bullworth, she says, will enjoy disrupting her date, and so she wants Jimmy to stand guard and keep them from bothering her.
- If Jimmy does not have any candy in his inventory, he can purchase some from Fatty, who is standing with some other Nerds in Bullworth Town. Fatty has a unique model for this instance: his face is smeared with chocolate. Mysteriously, even if this is done in Chapter 3, he wears his regular clothes, as opposed to his winter clothes.
- If Jimmy vandalises the Staff room, Dr. Watts will run in and chase him out.
- If Jimmy provokes Edna into following him, she can chase him all across Bullworth, as she will not stop after she passes the counter.