|Voice Actor||Cory Anker|
- "I don't see what's wrong with buying friends. I mean, I have the money!"
- — Parker
Parker is a medium-sized Preppy. He has distinctive black hair, brown eyes, and wears the standard Preppie Aquaberry sweater vest, along with gray slacks. In the wintertime he wears a dark blue scarf and a full sweater. His boxing outfit is maroon with yellow trim. He is one of three preps who doesn't speak with a faux English accent, the other two being Bif and Pinky.
Despite being a Preppie, Parker seems to be a relatively decent person. He once gave the local Hobo a dollar, and still muses over why he did that. He will compliment opposing dodgeball teams if they beat his team, and he even worries about his tendency to like people rather than look down on them. He does attack people in bad standing with the Preppies, but his attacking line is "Just run away!" After the situation where Jimmy led Gord into a trap set by Johnny Vincent and the Greasers, Parker seems to be genuinely disappointed with him, rather than annoyed and contemptuous like Derby was.
In spite of all of this, Parker does somewhat appear to believe that being rich entitles him. For this reason, he wonders why he can't buy friends. He is similarly inept with girls; he wants a girlfriend but doesn't seem to understand how girls work and has had no luck with them. He has a crush on Ms. Philips.
He has a sister, who is mentioned by him but does not appear in the game.
Role in game
Parker's first mission appearance is during Halloween, where he dresses up as Dracula and asks Jimmy to throw itching powder at people.
He makes regular appearances during Chapter 2 and Chapter 3. He is Jimmy's final opponent during the Prep Challenge. His most notable speaking line is at the end of Chapter 2, where he is the one who informs Derby that Jimmy, having just beaten Bif in a boxing match, is the new champion. In the mission Weed Killer, he has a conversation with Gord, and opines that it isn't fair that Gord's father is going to make him work during the summer, describing Gord's father as a "bastard". However, Gord points out that he wants to work.
Parker also appears in the Chapter 3 mission Bait where he shows up throwing firecrackers at Jimmy near the BMX Park. Before the mission Tagging, he angrily yells at Jimmy "some leader you turned out to be," seemingly genuinely disappointed instead of snide like the other Preppies.
Parker at one point had a role and a large amount of dialogue in the mission Small Offences. There are two lines where Parker gets upset over someone damaging one of gnomes. After that are a series of uninterrupted dialogue lines from Parker talking to someone he calls Jeff. At first he calls 'Jeff' his only friend, then finds out Jeff did something with Gord, and proceeds to have a meltdown, screaming at Jeff to be quiet. Jeff never speaks - Parker's lines of dialogue are uninterrupted from
Parker_2_S07_027_v1 - and from context it seems like Jeff might be an inanimate garden gnome and that Parker is having some sort of psychotic meltdown. In Parker's final line in the mission, he breaks down sobbing over 'Gnomey', who has apparently been damaged.
|2nd In Command|
|Bryce Montrose · Chad Morris · Gord Vendome · Justin Vandervelde|
|Harrington House · Old Bullworth Vale|